Not a Horror Movie Kinda Guy
by Apathetic Mortal
Summary: Peter and Elizabeth invite Neal, Jones, and Diana over for a Halloween party, and watch a scary movie. The four of them, however, are not too thrilled with Peter's choice of the horror flick.


**A/N: I've been itching to post this one for a while now, and at last the time is right! **

**I know, I know, my other stories need updating...I've been incredibly lazy though =( **

**Everything I've started will be finished, and with more holidays coming up, I should have time to do just that!**

**Okay, done talking, here's the story; I hope you all like it! =D**

"Thanks for the dinner, El, it was delicious as always."

Everyone murmured in agreement with Neal, thanking Elizabeth profusely for yet another wonderful meal. Ignoring the assurances that she would clean up by herself, Peter, Diana, Neal and Jones helped Elizabeth tackle the dishes and clean up after their meal. They had just finished when the doorbell rang.

"Trick or treaters already? Peter, are you going to get the door?"

Elizabeth poked her head out of the kitchen, and addressed her husband, who was busy fiddling with the DVD player.

"You know, I think I'll sit this one out. Jones?"

"I'll pass." Clinton responded with a chuckle.

"Don't even think about it." Diana said when Peter looked her way.

"Neal, why don't you do the honors."

"I'm touched, Peter, really," Neal grinned and rolled his eyes, "Still afraid to say 'no' when the kids ask for too much candy?"

"What, and you can?" The doorbell rang another time, "Just get the door...Peter Pan."

Neal opened the door, bowl of candy in hand, and was bombarded with a chorus of "trick or treats" from the children eagerly holding out their bags. He quickly dispensed the candy, and had hardly gotten the door closed before the next group arrived - exhausted parents in tow.

0000000

For forty-five minutes, Neal was stuck at the door, until the bowl was empty. Unfortunately, there was one little girl -wearing a ladybug costume- left in the group who had not gotten anything. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she started wailing.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Neal spoke softly, crouching down to her level, "Wait a minute, I think I see something..."

Neal reached behind her ear, and produced with a flourish a lollypop. It was one of his favorite tricks, and a sure-fire way to stop any child from crying. The little girl's eyes shone brightly, and she skipped off with her grateful parents - unaware that Neal had presented her with a sweet lifted from her own bag.

Neal closed the door and leaned against it, exhausted.

"Not as easy as it looks, huh Caffrey." Diana laughed as she set a bowl of popcorn on the middle of the table.

"Have fun?" Peter asked, with a smirk.

"Now I know why you were so eager to hand the job off to someone else. You're gonna owe me for that."

Neal pushed off from the door and strolled into the living room.

"Ha, I don't think so. Saving you from another four years in jail just about covers everything."

"Touché."

At that moment, Elizabeth came out of the kitchen with a plate of homemade cupcakes, frosted to look like pumpkins.

"Desert, anyone?"

Peter eagerly reached for one and stuffed it in his mouth, and received a disapproving glance from his wife.

"I remember hearing something about a movie in my invitation. I was thinking 'GhostBreakers' - it'll be on Turner Classic Movies..." Neal offered hopefully, but broke off when Peter rolled his eyes.

"GhostBreakers? You mean the one with Bob Hope? That's not even scary. Besides, I've already got one picked out."

Peter plopped down on the couch with El, and Neal looked at him skeptically, while Jones shrugged and helped himself to a cupcake.

"Okay, so what is it?"

"You'll see."

Peter pressed play, and Neal sighed, getting ready to sit down in the the chair next to the couch when he noticed the corner of something sticking out from under a stack of magazines. He pulled the plastic DVD case out, wrinkling his nose after studying cover.

"Really, Peter? 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning'? You can't be serious..."

"Well, it's scary. I told you we were going to watch a scary movie."

Elizabeth looked worried.

"I don't know, honey. I really don't like these kind of movies."

"Yeah, I agree with El," Neal put in, "I'm not really a horror movie kinda guy. The whole 'blood and guts and body parts' thing never really appealed to me."

"There's a reason we're in the White Collar Unit, boss. Less blood." Diana contributed, mouth full of popcorn.

"Oh, you're no fun! Watch some of it at least; if you don't like it, the TV upstairs is all yours."

* * *

The movie had already started, and seemed fine at first. That's what movies like that always did: lulled the watcher into a sense of security, and then let the horror fly.

"See, this isn't so bad," Peter said ten minutes in, "That guy even looks like you Neal."

"Wow, you're right, he really does look like Neal."

"Freaky, isn't it?"

"Great. I've always wanted to watch someone who looked like me get hacked to pieces," Neal said sarcastically.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Neal called it quits, standing up and shaking his head.

"Ugh, that's it, I'm done!"

Neal marched upstairs, hoping to replace what he had just seen with some of Bob Hope's one-liners.

"Wait up Neal, I'm coming too." Diana trotted up the stairs as well, grabbing the bowl of popcorn before she went.

"Come on you two!" Peter called after them, "It's hardly even started!"

"Peter, be nice. They're just not into these movies, and to tell you the truth, neither am I." El said.

"Same here," Jones stated, "I think I'll head up there as well."

Jones shot an apologetic look at Peter, and then followed in the footsteps of Neal and Diana, while El cringed and looked away from the screen.

* * *

Twenty minutes after Neal, Diana and Jones had gone upstairs to watch another movie, El had buried her head against Peter's shoulder. She could just barely hear Neal's laughter above them, joined with that of Jones and Diana's, and Peter kept turning up the volume to drown it out. Finally getting the courage to peer at the movie, El regretted it immediately. Instead of hiding her face yet again, she made a dash for the kitchen sink.

"El, honey, are you okay?"

Peter tore his gaze from the TV and looked over with concern in the direction of the kitchen, where he could hear his wife loosing her dinner. At last, she emerged, looking a little paler.

"You do what you like, but I'm not watching another second of that!"

"Oh, El, come on..."

She only shook her head and marched upstairs, leaving Peter alone to watch the movie. He turned back to the screen, and made a face at what he saw there.

* * *

Only ten minutes had gone by, and Peter was more focused on grumbling to himself every time he heard the four people upstairs laughing than he was on the movie. But finally, it had even got too much for him- mostly because that one character looked _way_ too much like Neal for his liking. Admitting defeat, Peter shut off the movie and trudged upstairs, absolutely certain he would be getting an earful of "I told you so's".

He pushed the door open to see Neal sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs, Diana sitting beside him, and El on the bed with her hands propping up her chin. Jones rested in a chair, munching away at the bowl of popcorn sitting in his lap. All of their faces were lit up as they watched the black and white movie.

"Care if I join?"

They all looked up at the same time, and Peter could see Neal's mouth twitch slightly into a smirk.

"Did it finally get to be too much for you?"

"Not at all. There wasn't nearly enough blood, so I figured if I wanted to die of boredom, I might as well kick the bucket up here."

"And you coming up here has nothing to do with being jealous of us having more fun than you were?"

"No, well, maybe just a little," Peter said jokingly.

"Have a seat, honey." Elizabeth said, patting the place next to her.

With El's head against his shoulder, and friends surrounding him, Peter felt he could finally relax and watch a movie without cringing.

* * *

Laughter rang through the Burke household, and Peter decided this was definitely a better way to spend halloween. Truth be told, he wasn't really a horror movie kind of guy either.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I have I confession: I have never seen "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning", and can't say I plan to. So all the horror is pretty much assumed on my part, but any movie featuring Matt Bomer being killed with a chainsaw can't be fun to watch...ugh! But I did think it would be funny to have our favorite characters viewing -or attempting to view- the movie.**

**I'm not sure how it ended up being Jones and Diana over for the Halloween Party, but they just sorta popped in. Funny how things turn out! Anyway, I really hope you guys liked this. Thank you all for reading! =D**


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